Sunday, November 22, 2015

1990's Teen Angst Cat


A touchscreen laptop seems like a great idea. However, when you have a cat who likes to sit on keyboards, the touch screen just increases the potential for chaos.



Within the past several months, Kokusho has developed an irrepressible urge to walk or sit on my laptop keyboard. I try to lower the screen when I leave my laptop unattended, but sometimes I forget, or think she's asleep, or think that in the short time it takes to refill a glass of water, there isn't much she can do. How wrong I am.

The first time I discovered the cat's proclivities, I was working from home, while I was new at my job and felt the need to prove myself not incompetent, working close to a deadline on some document that was near its filing deadline, with a group of attorneys--not just my boss. I had gotten up to refill a glass of water, during which time a group e-mail arrived. I returned to the keyboard to find Kokusho sitting on the keyboard, a reply window open, with all attorneys copied, and a message that read something like "zzzzzzzzxxxx x ffffdssfdlfjklrjirwedsesdfkjf " I carefully removed the cat from the laptop and discarded the draft. Panicked, I opened my "Sent" folder to make sure she hadn't sent a similar message to all of the attorneys for whom I was not yet familiar, to whom I was desperate to prove I was not a nitwit. At that moment--sometime between 2:30 and 3:00--Comcast began its frustrating daily reset.  "Connection lost," said Outlook. The four lights on the router went dark, then began blinking weakly. The next thirty seconds dragged on, feeling like thirty minutes. Finally, the router and Outlook returned to life, and to my relief, Kokusho had merely created nonsensical draft reply-all messages; she had not sent any of these strings of nonsense to the attorneys.

(A tangent - another time when I was working from home, I set out a pot of rice to steam while I edited a brief. Suddenly, a smell like burning hair wafted in from the kitchen. I ran in to find the cat sitting on the kitchen counter, looking content and perfectly healthy. Upon closer examination, however, I realized that the whiskers on one side of her face were much shorter--and singed. She blinked at me like, "What? I don't see a problem!" Her whiskers have grown back--both cat and brief were fine.)

Another incident--the one pictured above--showed me just how much damage a cat can do with a touchscreen. Luckily the damage was reversible. I'd left a PDF of my English Legal History reading assignment open, gotten up from my desk just for a moment, and returned to find the document rotated ninety degrees. Thanks to the touchscreen, Kokusho can rotate PDFs with her butt.

There's also the usual, expected cat+keyboard hijinx--sending Google Hangout and Facebook messages to my classmates. Intermittent strings of random characters punctuate discussions about journal or an upcoming assignment--that's Kokusho's contribution to the conversation.

But the strangest yet was the event that prompted the name of this post.

The program I use to listen to music is Clementine. It's similar to Amarok, which was my preferred program that I used on Linux, but designed for Windows. When I play a song or an album with Clementine, it gets appended to whatever playlist tab I have open. It's like a "now playing," list, but until I close the tab, it just stores whatever I've been listening to since the beginning of time/since I opened the tab weeks or months ago. Another of Clementine's quirks is that when the program re-opens, it opens all of the tabs that were open during the last session. So, I have things like "Work Playlist," "Quiet Focus Music," "Sea Creatures" (a mix of Sea Wolf and Seabear), and a few "Playlist 1" or "Untitled Playlist 2"'s of random stuff I was listening to at work.

Recently, I opened Clementine. My most recent "Untitled" playlist opened, with all of the things I had last selected or played. Or someone last selected or played.  "That's funny," I thought, "I don't remember listening to Pavement recently." I scrolled up to see that every Pavement song on my laptop was on the list. And above that, PJ Harvey. Above that, Tori Amos. Lots of PJ Harvey and Tori Amos. I had no memory of making this playlist. Kokusho!!!!!

And so, not only did Kokusho make a playlist on Clementine, by walking on my keyboard and bumping into the touchscreen, but also, she made a playlist with a theme. My cat made the playlist of an artsy, angsty 90's teenager. My cat has a 1990's teen angst heart.