Sunday, November 20, 2011

Sunday of Errands

My apartment is a chaos zone, yet I am feeling calm. I just got a great haircut!
The roofers apparently took Sunday off, so even though the contents of our attic and our roof garden are taking up space in most of the apartment, it was not so stressful today as it was yesterday.
When I started packing for my Thanksgiving trip, I noticed that what was taking up space in my suitcase was some clothing I had been waiting to donate. There was a blue corduroy blazer that really doesn't fit me anymore, which I got for only $1 at a thrift store in the early 2000's; a black shawl (I don't wear shawls) which I think came with some dress I got at Joyce Leslie, also in the early 2000's; some other forgettable shirt; and a blue jean pencil skirt from Anthropologie. That one I had been holding onto for awhile. It was from a nice store and I paid $50 for it (on the clearance rack.) But it was a piece of garbage, a harbinger of the lesser-quality (yet still high-priced Anthro-wear to come.) The back seam kept ripping every time I walked in it.
Why have clothing makers started making pencil skirts with the slit in the back? I can't imagine what grown woman can wear these skirts without showing the world her panties!
For men, or for those who have a very flat bottom, let me explain.
Because the back of women (especially some women; I recognize that not all women are endowed with a convenient coffee cup shelf* like I am) tends to stick out more than the front, if there is not more fabric in the back than there is in the front, a short skirt will be shorter in the back than it is in the front.
Adding a slit to an already short back-of-the-skirt creates the danger of...well...obscenity.
What happened to side slits in pencil skirts? I'd much rather have someone see a little more of my thigh than my bottom. Doesn't this make sense? Perfect sense? Huh? Huh, OLD NAVY? and ANTHROPOLOGIE!?
Adding insult to injury, these slit seams tend to rip, creating a higher slit, when one engages in such activities other than sitting or standing still such as walking up a hill, walking briskly, or walking up stairs.
It may be the twenty-first century equivalent of all of those Victorian clothes that impeded the movement and respiration of nineteenth-century women. Now, perhaps modern-day women's attire does not pose a fire hazard, like a dozen layers of petticoats, but it does seem that a garment that rips if worn while simply walking might be designed the discourage the movement of women. Could we even say that there's a subtle message here, such as the discouraging of women's metaphorical movement up, where she might bump her pretty little head on some glass ceilings (and then break it), or maybe women's movement toward equality?
Um...really, I just want a pencil skirt that doesn't cause me to moon my co-workers and co-bus-riders. Can you make that happen, Old Navy?
So anyway, I had given up trying to sew and re-sew that Anthropologie skirt, and today I gave it to Goodwill (where it can aggravate some other woman. Or maybe find a good home with a woman who never climbs hills.) I stopped at Goodwill on my way to the mall, where I was going to buy a solid-colored shirt in a very specific color to go with a very specific outfit.
I found it at Goodwill. For $3.99.
The other errand I went on was finally, finally getting a haircut, and that is what I meant to write about. I already did, in fact. It's my second ever Yelp review. I forgot to mention in my review - Bishops is pretty cheap, too! I usually don't trust places with such consistent bad reviews, but I seriously do not know why Bishops has so many bad reviews. I am always happy when I go there.
So, that was my Sunday! Have a nice week, everyone!
* For explanation of the "coffee cup shelf" of which I speak, read here and here.

1 comment:

Ellen said...

This explains a lot. My pencil skirts have never given me a problem with exposed underwear, they just act as a hobble forcing me to take ladylike steps. But the last two I bought totally threw me - I must have only had skirts with side slits before, and with my two new skirts I had to turn them around repeatedly while I tried to figure out where the hell the slit was supposed to be. I wanted it to be on the side, it was clearly meant to be on the back, and I just couldn't figure out what was going on. I agree with you that the side slit needs to be brought back in. Why would they abandon that slit (which always gave me so many opportunities to show off my premature varicose veins) for the awkward back slit?