Thursday, December 30, 2010

Bad-tini? Not again!

Why does the world believe that women love sugary drinks with vodka in them? And if this is a stereotype that has a basis in fact, then women, why do you love sugary drinks with vodka in them?

(Well, everyone's entitled to like what they like.)

At lunch with a friend this week, we were given a martini menu which we would have ignored had the names of the beverages not caught our eye. They had names like, "Flirtini" and "Whispertini."

"Because women aren't supposed to take up too much space in the world!" I declared. "Or make too much noise!"

I'm surprised the menu didn't include - and I'm sure this already exists somewhere out there - a series of special martinis with artificially-sweetened zero-calorie mixers with names like, "Dietini," "Thintini," and "Teenytini."

"What is this Whispertini?" my friend remarked. "I need a Shoutini!"

"Yeah!" I agreed. "Give me a Loudtini! Or a Bitchini!"

"A Shrewtini!"

"A Nagtini!"


What do you think the recipes for any of these drinks should include?


Elena said...

Can you imagine a termagantini??

I think they would all just be vodka and bitters. maybe with a cocktail onion in them for extra bad breath.

Sarah said...

Cocktail onion!!!! That's great! Probably olive brine in some, hot sauce in others, and a series of different pickled fruits and vegetables in each. As a partially related side note, today I went to brunch at a place that serves a Bacon Bloody Mary with A SLICE OF BACON in the garnish.