Friday, October 15, 2010

A Suggested Addition to the Kama Sutra

My experiences in dating my current boyfriend and in time spent with the couple with whom we have double dates on the couch has encouraged me to create this suggested addition to the Kama Sutra. No, not what you're thinking.

I'm not quite sure why or how, but I stumbled across this Kama Sutra Free website sometime in late high school or early college. I do remember specifically looking for their defined categories of kisses, as I'd heard there was a kiss whose performance was forbidden men with mustaches, portrayed here by the free Kama Sutra as follows:

[Ed: the picture doesn't appear to work anymore, but it was a Kermit the frog standing next to a guy. I'm not sure if Kermit was even kissing the guy.]

I wonder why. I wonder what the rules are for women with mustaches.

The free Kama Sutra also describes the Kiss That Awakens Love — "When a woman looks at the face of her lover while he is asleep and kisses it to show her intention or desire it is called the kiss that kindles love" — and The Kiss That Turns Away — "When one lover kisses the other while that lover is engaged in business or while he is looking at something else so that his or her mind may be turned away." Like when one lover just wants to wash some dishes.

It is to this section of the Kama Sutra that I propose an addition. The Kiss That Shuts Up Yapping Love. (Because The Kiss That Silences Love, though perhaps more poetic, also sounds more sinister.)

When the Blabbermouth Half of a couple ceaselessly blabs...

Especially at a party or some other embarrassing, public place, He Who Loves a Blabbermouth can remedy the situation in a kind, caring way.

Lest you think the Kiss That Shuts Up yapping Love is sexist, I have visual evidence that it works the other way, too.

The first couple is in Portland, where The Rainy Season and The Spider Season sometimes overlap! For my East Coast and other non-Northwestern readers, I'll explain the Spider Season when I finally get around to the next adventure...Things I First Noticed About Portland.

1 comment:

kalin said...

oh god, it's spider season at my house.
spiders were not this big where i grew up. i'm scared to *touch* them to squish them so i just stare, in horror, at my spider infested yard