Sunday, November 08, 2009

Just writing to say...

that I REFUSE to fall off the NaBloPoMo wagon this easily!
I am exhausted. I have nothing to write about. But it's too early to fail!
I will certainly write about Hawaii--probably when I get my pictures back.
I actually stopped writing in the middle of a post yesterday, because some drama occurred. I pride myself on the fact that I can handle threatening or otherwise upsetting situations calmly--that I don't "lose my shit" (as someone once put it) and rationally think of a way to get out of the situation. Yesterday, I was just so tired and my nerves were so frazzled that I was starting to lose my sense of calm and jump to conclusions, thinking that one bad thing was going to lead to all sorts of disaster. I envisioned myself living in my car parked in the PDX parking lot, in hiding, until I could hop a plane back to Jersey.
I went shopping. That helped.
You see, flying makes me nervous. Not the actual flight. There's just something about going to the airport; I've realized that every time I am supposed to fly somewhere, I start to feel anxious the day of. I think it's this idea that a big plane is leaving at X o'clock and THAT'S IT. I imagine things that will get in the way and keep me from getting on the plane in time. In short, I have an irrational fear of missing flights. I try to remind myself that missing a flight is not a big deal. Then I am okay.
So, I had two things to be nervous about, and instead of being 2(nervous) it was (nervous)^2. I was at my gate two hours before boarding time, and still nervous. So nervous I couldn't eat. Yes, I missed out on Wailana Coffeehouse's macadamia nut pancakes with coconut syrup because of nerves! (and the belief that I will return, someday, to Waikiki.)
I knew I was going to need food for my five hour flight from Kauai to San Francisco, so I looked for something that would still taste good cold as well as be filling. This was at Honolulu, where I had two hours to spare. I started out on the line at Burger King (it's familiar) but it was too long. I stared at the nearly empty Lahaina Chicken (or whatever it's called) and migrated over. I do not know why they have a Hawaiian name. There was no Kalua pork to be found. I ordered some greasy fried chicken and cole slaw. I have a secret love of cold fried chicken, especially when traveling. When I was a kid, my parents and I would go to Disney World all the time, always a road trip, and we'd stop at Roy Rogers on the highway. (I don't know if they still exist.) I loved getting the Roy Rogers fried chicken, eating some, putting the rest in the cooler, and eating it cold for breakfast in the morning.
(I am certain that these Disney World car trips are what led to my obsession with road trips as an adult.)
Anyway, yesterday convinced me that retail therapy is real. Just buying small items--the process of picking things out, deciding what to buy, and then staring at the glossy new item in its little plastic bag--it's very nice. The Hawaiian Airlines terminal in Honolulu has a very nice bookstore. I couldn't decide between Twilight or The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. I decided I could get Twilight from the library and read it in one day.
Then I ended up taking the complimentary in-flight magazine from Hawaiian Airlines. It had just as much cheesy advertising material as other in-flight magazines, but all of the articles were about Hawaii and it was just fascinating. I wanted it.
I also had a copy of The Honolulu Advertiser, slipped under my hotel room door that morning.
And a copy of People from my mother. Fortunately, it had minimal mention of the Gosselin family. (I get sucked into their story all too easily.) I boarded my first flight reading an article about Tracy Morgan.
Today is another post breaking my rules about editing and brevity. I am not going to go over this post and ask, "What is the purpose of this post, and of each paragraph? Can this point be summed up in three sentences or less?" I am too tired. The ramble about reading material came from me writing about how I intended to write more yesterday.
In any case, I'm exhausted, but optimistic. I am about 150 pages into The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and looking forward to going to bed and reading it now. And falling asleep with my reading lamp on.

No comments: