Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Tuesday Adventures

I can't believe I haven't written since the end of May!

This is my last week at my job and even it is not without adventure. I did several silly things on Tuesday.

The first misadventure is short. On Monday night, there was a crazy thunderstorm. Booming thunder that woke everyone up; pouring rain. On Monday afternoon, I apparently left the windows cracked in my car. I discovered this on Tuesday morning. They were just barely, invisibly cracked, so that when I got in my car and saw wet seats, I was utterly perplexed. And damp for most of the morning.

Later that day, I left work taking three hours of my copious remaining sick time because I was actually not feeling so hot. I had cramps. Because I can never just SIT DOWN and DO NOTHING I decided I should bake cookies. I had mixed most of the dough ingredients on Monday night, but I was short one egg and half a cup of chocolate chips (if I wanted to make two batches.) So, I drove down to the A&P--within walking distance, but I wasn't feeling well and it was threatening to rain. This excursion should have taken under five minutes.

Should have.

Well, when I walked into the A&P I was bemused. This A&P is referred to as the "ghetto" A&P, and when I last went there--in September--it truly was. Boy, what I have been missing out on! It's now a nice, normal supermarket, selling all the snob groceries I like...and it's right by my apartment. I digress. The other nice part about this A&P is that is sells liquor, right in the store instead of in some kind of annex store.

The beer aisle shares space with the dairy aisle.
I had to walk past the beer to get to the eggs.
Beer was on sale.

So, I picked up a dozen snob organic eggs and a six-pack of ON SALE Leinenkugel. I am so glad I had an opaque canvas bag in which to stow that Leinenkugel.

Then I circled back and walked across the store, reading signs, trying to figure out in which aisle I would find chocolate chips. This store is compact so baking supplies and candy share an aisle. (Sort of like beer and eggs!) I was scanning the bags of candy to see if any of them were actually bags of chocolate chips when I saw HER.

SHE is the director (or manager, I don't know exactly) of another department of the organization for which I work (until Friday.) She and my supervisor sometimes disagree on things, and sometimes I had to be the shot-at-from-both-sides messenger who would communicate these disagreements. She had her back to me and was talking to another woman. I could see that the chocolate chips were just past them. I didn't want her to see me...in the middle of the day...at the store...buying beer. I stood in the neighboring aisle, pacing with indecision, and finally decided to check out right away and come back for chocolate chips later. I got on a short checkout line.

I was next in line and was almost--almost there! But then the customer in front of me, a shaky, ancient old man, put his last item on the register--a package of eggs--and learned that one egg had jumped ship and lie splattered on the A&P floor.
Pitying him, the cashier left to get him a new egg carton. He warned me to be careful I didn't step in any egg. The cashier took a long time to get that new egg carton. (Maybe she got distracted by beer, too.) This gave HER time to finish her candy aisle conversation. SHE was smiling and bouncy and practically danced her way into the checkout line right behind me. I tried to look straight ahead--like I was distracted and not rude and maybe some stranger and not Sarah--but my damn hair gave me away. That's what happens when you have recognizable hair.
"HI SARAH!"
I turned slowly. "Hi, (name.)"
"When's your last day!?"
"Friday..."
"Oh wow, that's--" I did not hear what followed, because my brain was too busy running.
WhatshouldIdo omg shouldIbuytheseeggs ohno the beer! the beer! Thank God for opaque canvas shopping bags! I guess I can get chocolate chips now...I'll put back the beer...
"Oh..." I said, spacily. "I forgot chocolate chips!"
"Oh don't worry! Go get them! I'll hold your spot in the line!"
Darn!
"I need...other stuff too. LOTS of other stuff. Chocolate chips AND other stuff!" Now, this spaciness wasn't completely an act. I wasn't feeling well, remember? So my brain was wacky and the first thing that came to mind came out of my mouth. "I need the chocolate chips for my dad!"
Translation: I am buying chocolate chips to make cookies for my dad's birthday, which is Sunday.
This co-worker looked at me like I was insane. Or trying to get away from her AND insane.
I dashed away, got chocolate chips, and briskly walked to the egg/beer aisle to return my Leinenkugel from whence it came. So I could just check out with my respectable groceries and leave.
But then I saw the sign.
SALE! THIS WEEK ONLY! SAVE $1.00!
(A dollar!)
I was not leaving that grocery store without that beer.
I hid behind a stack of twelve packs. Peeking around them, I saw that SHE was past the register, bagging groceries. I waited a few more minutes, and then briskly walked back to the checkout line.
I pulled the six-pack out of my canvas bag and triumphantly plunked it on the conveyor belt. I reached into the bag for the eggs and the--oh crap! I had, in my spaciness, brought the beer to the register, but left the rest of my groceries in the beer aisle!
I excused myself as I pushed past the people behind me on the line and raced to the beer aisle, trying not to laugh out loud. I grabbed my groceries and returned to the same checkout line for the third time.

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