Sunday, May 24, 2009

Sunday thoughts

I had such a great day today! I want to write about it! I went to many different places and saw lots of people. As I was driving from place to place, I thought about how I'd write about the day.
But as I was driving from my last engagement back to my apartment, I started to feel a little bitter. I had just come from a nice, long party with some old friends. Moving north of 78 (the north/central Jersey barrier) has made me renew a lot of old friendships--it's like I'm making new friendships with old friends--and I feel like I'll be leaving in the middle of that. I know that--especially with this thing called the Internet--my move won't kill all of these relationships, but it makes me sad and a little angry and definitely bitter that this move wasn't entirely my choice. I think it was a good choice--I see now (more and more every day) that it would have been impossible for me to stay, but I just keep thinking back to Christmastime when I felt that I could stay for years. See my friends in their new marriages, see their new children grow up, maybe make myself a little home here (complete with a woodland garden.)
Oh well. Sometimes, there's more than one answer, and I'll be happy in Portland. Everyone thinks I will love it so much that I will never look back.

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