Thursday, May 21, 2009

Long day

Today was ridiculous. It was so draining. A lot happened that was good and a lot that wasn't so great and instead of feeling overwhelmed, I just feel like sitting. The news is getting around about me moving to Oregon, so I spent so much time today talking to curious people about what I am doing and why and every possible thing to talk about...I am so tired that I do not want to talk about myself anymore! I want a break from my life--from why I am leaving New Jersey and why I am going to Oregon and what I am going to do out there. I think I am going to read a book or something.
I spent my weeknights this week cleaning my apartment for prospective lease taker overs and making dinner for a friend who was going to sit with me when the lease taker overs came over tonight. All of them canceled on me. I've resigned myself to the fact that I am just going to have to keep the place really clean for awhile, so that someone can come over at any minute, and though sorting and packing makes a mess, as I get crap out of my apartment, it will be easier to keep the place clean.
This would be a good night to start putting things in boxes, but I think that will bring up too many memories and make me think about the past year and eventually find myself drinking cachaca and crying over something like a scrap of fabric or something that smells like my old apartment. (Man do I sound pitiful!) So, I'm going to read or watch TV--do something I rarely do, which is just escape.
I think I am going to make cake, too. I'm trying out this teff flour I bought a whim several months ago--back when I thought I wanted to stay in New Jersey for years.

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