Sunday, February 15, 2009

A bad dream

I have a lot of half-written blog posts in my head and in my drafts folder. This includes a post about the trip I took this weekend, a general post about tips for road-tripping women (especially road tripping alone), and some thoughts about travel and some Ralph Waldo Emerson I read a long time ago.

Instead, just a few lines, because I feel like I need to get it out. Two days ago, I read an e-mail from a friend which described what had become everyday life (as opposed to a break from the routine) as "a bad dream." Or something like that. This keeps finding its way into my head--this idea of life, for a long stretch of time, being like a bad dream. Not necessarily something hellish, something obviously BAD, but like most nightmares--things are just slightly off and it induces this feeling of extreme discomfort.

(For example, I've been having weird dreams about jury duty, like that I am really late for court, or I go there and no one's there, or I'm wearing something stupid, or somehow break the rules. And it seems REALLY AWFUL like I'm going to go to jail or something.)

Anyway, this bad dream feeling--it's the feeling that things are slightly off. They seem like normal life, they seem routine, but something isn't right. At best, everything seems surreal. At worst, the underlying feeling of "off"-ness grows into an unexplainable terror.

I've revised my opinions on "travel" and my blind agreement with Emerson's writings on travel.

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