Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Postponed Dreams

If one has a dream, then it's a good idea to ask once in awhile, "What am I doing? Is this part of the dream or postponement of it?" It may seem like postponement but really it's part of it, preparation (too many p's...) for what is more obviously the pursuit (another p!) of that dream. Maybe you're not stagnating, maybe what you're doing now, while not directly related to the dream, is helping you get there. Something that needs to be done before being ready to take the next step. Or some other loose ends of your life needed to be tied up before you can move on. An example would be, stuff in your personal life that needs to be tied up or dealt with or just somehow completed, before you can do something professionally. Something that is the next big step in that big dream.

I realize it says something about me that I wrote about "dreams" in general and immediately narrowed it down to career, as though that is what everyone dreams of. Personal life is secondary. Or rather, in my experience, personal life falls into place. For me, I maintain ties with people from most stages of life and am able to make new ties wherever I go.

I was just going to write the postponed dreams paragraph, but I'll add the rest. A year ago, before it was clear that I would have a job after graduation, my roommate and I would have conversations about what we were going to do. One day, he told me that someone told him, "You're not in a relationship. You can do whatever you want." He realized it was true, and we discussed how this was true for both us. We were free. We discussed what that whatever we want could be. This economy limits those dreams, in a way. And yet, it shouldn't. For me, it makes me even more determined. My road trip--I thought, this is the time to go! When times are bad! Gas prices are high, but if we can afford it, we have to do it! It will be more than just vacation, it will be an experience to see the whole country in the midst of a historic election. Where was I going with this paragraph?
Anyway, I had a dinner party this weekend that was absolutely great. Friends from different circles were there and everyone got along and had fun. It was an evening of sappy, warm fuzzy feelings. A friend I've had since birth--in fact, our friendship was predestined before we were born--recently got engaged and I am in the small bridal party. We were discussing plans and I thought about how many of my friends' lives are changing now and then I thought, this is what I need to be here for. This is, I guess, what not only kept me in New Jersey but pulled me north of I-78, north of that Central/North boundary. I belong here now.

No comments: