Thursday, October 30, 2008

Solo

Since moving to a new town where I know nobody, to an apartment that I share with nobody, I have had occasion to make interesting observations about the world of doing things by yourself and the world of trying to find places to make friends.
I will be writing them as I come up with interesting or amusing things.
One thing that's slowing me down is that I am close enough to see my friends from my old home of New Brunswick pretty frequently. On weekends, I tend to go there, or have people visit me here. This is all fine, but it makes the need for local friends less intense.
Anyway, in addition to making a real effort to explore the Morristown area (doing things like checking out different shops, going to MacCulloch Hall to see the state's second largest sassafrass tree, going to the Great Swamp by myself), I'm trying to be proactive in meeting people instead of just waiting for friends to find me. For the new person in town, the Internet is a great resource. There are so many groups!
Unfortunately, some of them seem to be defunct. Stitch and Bitch groups, hiking groups, plain old social groups. Or for people a lot older than me.
The one observation I've made is that singles meetup groups tend to be a lot more active. I wonder why that is. I've always shied away from online dating and singles events and the like because I'm not looking for a boyfriend. I have no problem being single. I wouldn't be averse to dating, of course, but I'm really not looking for anyone. I'm not going to just take anything I can get because I'm so desperate to go on dates. If I'm going to give up that much time and effort for a boyfriend, he has to be worth it.
BUT these singles groups do some pretty fun things. It might be nice to get out and participate, just to have some other people there, even if no long-lasting friendships form. Chances are, singles events are not crawling with desperate people, the rejects of society, people who you meet and go, "Oh God! NO WONDER YOU'RE SINGLE!" I mean, I'm single, and I do not have a repulsive personality.

Do people go to Singles events just to make friends? Is that allowed? If I go, should I only talk to men? Should I be on the defensive? Is there going to be a really high percentage of people who want either a) one night-stands or b) wives?

In any case, if I have nothing better to do, I've decided I'm going to go to some singles events, because even if I meet no one I want to be friends with, it will get me out of the house but MOST IMPORTANTLY, if it sucks...it will be something to blog about. If it sucks, there will be something from which I can find some humor!

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