Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Happy

My poster is finally done; I found an apartment to move into on September 1. I have a good job and four days in Vancouver ahead of me.
Yet being in this apartment, where everything is in boxes or in piles waiting to go in boxes, is triggering all the sad. It was only a year ago that I moved in here with so much hope. Some hope was fulfilled, some was surpassed (and it is these I feel the most sad about, like I'll miss them the most), and some things that were planned on never happened and probably won't in the last month. Walking through here, I can't stop getting hit with memories. The happy and sad are both making me feel the same way. I know I'll like my new place, but I wish I could hold onto this time a little bit longer. I have a month left and I feel like I'll spend the whole month packing, not being at home. All the places that were part of my routine will soon be not mine anymore. Even things like driving to the bank makes me sad.
Everything feels like listening to a sad song that you really like, a song that's really good so you want to keep listening to it, even though it's sad!
I am glad I'm not the only person who's like this, who's "bad about transitions." But I bet most people would read the above and think, "That's not normal."

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