Friday, July 13, 2007

Domestic Goddess

I found an old post from August 17th labeled "Domestic Goddess." I thought, "Ooh!" but it was just a couple of notes - not a substantial draft.



[Pictures of garden] Later, write about The Dangers of Tomato Cages. I remember this...vaguely. I think it was this day. The tomatoes needed to be staked, desperately. They were growing like an entangled mat of vines. Those poor plants were healthy - each about six feet of strong vegetative growth...with no flowers and therefore, no fruit. No one was very appreciative of these tall, majestic creatures due to their absence of actual tomatoes. Unfortunately I don't remember enough of this to make it funny, but I remember vaguely spending a lot of time straddling the vegetable garden--I should back up a bit. Our garden is in an old playhouse foundation, so the only way to get to things in the middle of it is to climb on the subdividing wooden balance-beam-like things and pray you don't fall face-down in the mud. I also tend to go out in the garden before changing out of my work clothes or shoes. So picture me, wild hair and all, trying to straddle two balance beam-like things in heels, flailing around, losing my balance, trying not to get peat mixture stains on my white dress pants. AAAHHH. Now add to this image the Big-Haired-Jersey-Girl ALSO struggling with tomato cages, which are three pieces of wire fence-like things, attached to form a triangle around the tomato plant so that the plant has something to lean on and doesn't fall over and form a jungle with all the other tomato plants. Also add to this image that I was not wearing dress pants, but a skirt.


The tomato cages were rather unruly. As I was adjusting them, one fence-piece would fall off and I'd have to reattach it to the other two; the pieces would slide up and down and refuse to stay the same height; the cages would fall over instead of sticking into the dirt; or the pieces would flail around instead of attaching to the rest of the triangle - hitting me in the face, nearly knocking me off of my balance beams, poking me with their fence-y little tops, and, at one rather low point, flying up my skirt!


I was not pleased.


In the end, the tomatoes were caged, I was relatively unharmed, and in the fall we had a nice amount of Fried Green Tomatoes.


Blackened pie. I remember this one. Unfortunately, a picture probably speaks a thousand words in this case, and I do not know where the pictures from this event are. In short, I picked a whole lot of red currants at Alstede Farms (one of my favorite U-Pick places...I'm always trying to get people to go here with me) and found on allrecipes.com a German recipe for red currant pie. I think it was one of those wonderful multi-layer springform pan desserts that Germany seems so fond of. I love making those. It had a lemony shortbread crust, and the top layer was like meringue with the red currants mixed in. The crust was cooked but the meringue was not, so I stuck the pie under the broiler and walked away. I never learn. I always ALWAYS do this - when I broil ANYTHING - pizza, cakes, vegetables, whatever - I do not come back after five minutes. I get distracted and come back when I smell burning. The meringue formed a thin, tar-black top layer; however, under this was perfectly delicious cake. Still, the pictures made it look like I was a terrible cook. Between that and my vegetative-tomato-plant-knot, I had the surface appearance of a domestic nightmare.
Ribbon embroidery. I have no idea. I think I was just going to post pictures of a project or something.
Clothes shopping. Always a topic for funny stories; however, at this point, I have no idea which funny story I was referencing.

Happy Friday!

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